Stay-at-Home-Mom Life: It’s not always rainbows and butterflies.

Journaling, because this is a long “day in life story”…and there’s no pictures to go along with it.

Let me tell you first and foremost after leading with the title above, I do not and will not apologize and/or regret choosing to be a stay-at-home-mom. I love it! Like I really love it! I know I am very lucky to be able to stay at home raising my children through these first years of their lives. My husband and I both wanted this. It’s not easy, but we make it work the best we can.

If you follow me through social media you would see loads and loads of photos of my happy family, mostly of my children, and posted almost daily! In all reality this is what we want to capture isn’t it? Happiness. Who wants to see the angry, crying, frustrated child or even worse, the angry, crying, frustrated parent? However we all know it’s there and that is good enough for me. The majority of us leave those memories out of our photo catalogs, thank goodness! Happiness, seeing happiness in photos (your photos, friends and family photos, heck, with social media these days even total stranger’s photos)… seeing happiness, well, it’s quite addicting if you let it be! And I strongly encourage it.

Some days I don’t post anything. Days like today I won’t post any photos. Especially when I haven’t got on my rose-colored glasses and merely see a recuperating sick babe and an antsy, dramatic, tantrum-throwing toddler. I must’ve forgotten my second cup of coffee or something… or maybe it was the lack of sleep. I commend those who stay up in the middle of the night, multiple times in the night, not because they want to, but because they have to… be it crying baby or whatnot. Thankfully, I am not use to this. I breed/train good-sleepers/nappers.

Last night was not the case with a teething baby (four molars coming all at once) with a fever of 104.3 – eesh!

However this morning she was a lot better.

The morning started off well since I had cleaned the house, mopped the floors, and washed the dishes the night before. Simple egg and sausage burritos, grapes, and chocolate milk for breakfast. They wanted refills of their milks, but we ran out, which led us to the grocery store first thing! It was a successful shopping trip, especially since I remembered the milk!

Then it went downhill when we got home. The little babe threw a fuss, drool, snot, and tears running down her face and another fever was coming on. A little Tylenol and I sent her back to bed. Luckily she only fought it for a couple minutes and was fast asleep. I began to feel the sleep-deprivation… I was so tired.

Before I go on, I have to let you all know this: I know my children and I truly believe no one knows their child better than his or her own parents. I know what my children are capable of.

My eldest was not tired at all. She slept well last night, a full 12 hours of sleep! I wanted to nap so bad (I never nap) and I wasn’t about to make her nap if she didn’t need/want to. She was such a good girl last night and this morning. So I sat her next to me in bed let her watch some tv (terrible mom, I know…for those judging) and took a little nap. I wasn’t worried about her.

Within 30 minutes I woke up to use the restroom, because pregnant women always need to use the restroom! I turned in bed to find my girl had fallen asleep hugging me. Such a blessed moment! I crawled back in and we slept a little longer.

When we had all woken up I did a couple loads of laundry, pulled out our Chinese food leftovers and we had lunch before heading back out again to run yet another errand. We were signing my two, almost three-year-old up for preschool! This was very exciting for all of us!

We headed over to our community center, brought all our necessary paperwork and signed our girl up for next month’s session! We even took a little tour of the classroom and met the teacher. Someone was very very excited about getting to go to school here.

We then headed to the Dollar Tree nearby to buy some cheap gift bags for a little Christmas get-together we have this weekend with one of our mommy groups. We ended up spending way too long in the store getting caught up in cheap toys that I promised to get the kids if they were good during our little shopping trip. Unfortunately this is when it all went downhill and don’t even get me started about the line. My eldest started throwing balls and toys around the store, I bribed her with my cell phone and some DCTC time if she sat still in the stroller, little did I know my phone would then die halfway through our shopping trip. My youngest kept grabbing everything off the shelves saying “I want this!” and I ended up following her through the store putting things back on the shelves. Such a little store, but felt like a huge one when dealing with two uncooperative kids.

By the time we were halfway in line, I was about to have what felt like a mental-breakdown. I called it quits and decided to leave our basket of gift bags and randomness and head home. After strapping both kids in their carseats I started putting my stroller in the trunk of the car and realized that the cellphone was not in my daughter’s stroller seat or tray… “Where’d it go?!” I yelled at my daughter who I thought had been playing with it throughout the store… she responds, “In the toys?” And I hurridly unstrap and grab the kids out of the carseats and head back in the store. We spent about an hour looking for my “dead” phone and ended up leaving information with the manager in case it somehow showed up. As I left with the store doors swinging behind me, sweat dripping from my forehead and the look of agony on my face… I had an “A-ha” mom moment and realized we never checked the basket we had left behind and so I ran back in and sure enough, there it was, at the bottom of the basket!

All the yelling, “Where is it? Where’d you put it?” all the frustration and worrying seems trivial now, but it somehow left me very worn out…

I came home later than I had hoped… didn’t make dinner, ate more leftovers… and the rest of the day didn’t seem any better as the tantrums and crying never seemed to stop, although I do appreciate my husband for taking the initiative in bathing and putting down our crying, teething baby before he fell asleep himself. I came out of the bath and saw our eldest playing by herself on our bed next to her sleeping dad and it was past her bedtime. The end of my night was perhaps the best part of the day. As I was putting her down we sang a few songs (she’s currently learning Silent Night) and ended the night with lots of I love you’s, hugs and kisses. It seriously was the best!

All I can do now is reflect about the day and try to think of only the positives so that I can look forward to sleep tonight and better days ahead!

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